Big Fat Secret
by Maetryx.25
Summary: "Excuse me, Potter, I must have heard wrong. Did you just imply that I'm fat?" Sirius guffawed in the background, and more galleons were dropped into the Lily-is-going-to-hex-James-first pile.


_~Around dinnertime in the Great Hall~_

"Slow down, Evans, or there'll be none left for the rest of us."

Lily Evans paused her scarfing at dinner to glare at a one James Potter who had appeared next to her.

"Do you have a problem with my eating habits Potter?" she asked coolly, turning around to face him.

"No, no….I have no problem with your methods of consumption…" He paused to rake his eyes down her body, smirking as they settled on her chest.

"…So long as they don't…compromise…our chances at the Quidditch cup this year."

There was pregnant pause as seemingly everyone in the Great Hall tuned in to listen to another infamous Lily versus James battle of wits.

Somewhere in the background, Sirius could be heard quietly taking bets on who would hex the other first. As the galleon pile increased, Lily's brow furrowed deeper.

"Excuse me, Potter, I must have heard wrong. Did you just imply that I'm fat?"

Of course, Lily Evans was anything but fat. Her lean figure was toned from recent seasons of vigorous Quidditch training (thanks to James' iron-fisted captainship), and annual summer football leagues **[that's soccer to Americans]**. Plus, with the added threat of a rising Dark Lord, she had taken to running in her spare time, to build up her stamina. So to have James bloody Potter imply that she was less than fit was absurd.

He only smirked that infuriating trademark smirk of his.

Lily's glare was practically sparking, as her eyes glittered dangerously. A dangerous smile slid slowly onto her face. "For your information, _Potter_, besides enduring and conquering your bloody death matches you call training, I not only stay in shape by exercising in my spare time, I stay fit by running away from you and your pathetic excuses at asking me out. Oh, and you might want to factor in all the times I've run after you and your bloody mates—sorry, Remus, no offense to you—every time you go about bloody _marauding_, and McGonagall seems to think I'm the one to catch you! I. Am. Not. Fat!"

Lily was seething at this point, which only seemed to amuse James further.

His grin was spreading now. "Oh, really? Are you quite sure all of that counts as exercise? Seems a bit sub-par if you ask me. As it is, I think all of that" -at this he gestured at Lily's body—"is just weighing down your broom. See, if you did work out, _Lily Flower,_ you would faster in the air."

Sirius guffawed in the background, and more galleons were dropped into the Lily-is-going-to-hex-James-first pile.

"Oh, is that so? Well, _Jamesie-Poo,_ for your information, I learned everything I know about Quidditch from watching _you_ play. So I guess any imperfections on my part are really thanks to you." At this Lily smirked, nearly perfectly imitating James'.

Sirius by now was full out rolling on the floor laughing, clutching his gut, and gasping from lack of breath. Remus, sitting across from Sirius at the table, smiled bemusedly.

James gaped at Lily, looking very much like a fish out of water.

"What's wrong, Potter? Cat got your tongue?"

James, who had been standing during this entire encounter, suddenly collapsed onto the floor, legs folding up underneath him. He stared dazedly up at Lily, still gaping. The sudden change in James' positioning nearly gave Lily whiplash.

Sirius stopped laughing to gaze questioningly at his best mate. "James…? James? Prongs! Speak to me man! Remus, he's gone comatose! What do we do?!" Sirius had gone hysterical. Even Remus, peering across the table, seemed concerned.

"Hmm. This could be a problem," Remus glanced at James and back to Lily several times before a knowing look came into his eyes. "Ah…I see."

"What? WHAT DO YOU SEE MOONY?! HELP ME FIX PRONGS!"

By now, James had developed a star-struck air about him. His mouth, still gaping, had taken the shape of a grin the size of the Giant Squid. His eyes were glazed over as he gazed at Lily.

"It's simple really…Lily broke him."

Lily's head whipped around to gaze incredulously at Remus. "I did what?!"

The Great Hall at this point was in chaos. Nearly all the female population was wailing over the state of the fabulous James Potter. The Quidditch players were mourning the premature loss of such a gifted Chaser. And the Slytherins… well, they couldn't care less.

Lily's panicked face glanced back and forth between James and Remus. "But I…I didn't…Remus, I would never—"

"I know, Lily," Remus said, patting her on the arm. "You would never intentionally hurt James. He brought it upon himself, really."

James still hadn't moved.

"But I don't understand!" Lily wailed. "I didn't mean to break him! I don't even know what I did…"

"You know my name."

Every head in the Great Hall whipped around to stare at the incarnate James Potter. He was still sitting like a child upon the floor, and still gazing in amazement up at Lily. The words had spilled from his mouth, sounding very much like a miracle.

"I…excuse me?" Lily spluttered.

In an instant, James moved from his cross-legged position to kneeling in front of Lily, tightly grasping her hands in his. With his face only inches from hers, it was impossible to miss the sparkle in his eye and his ear-splitting grin.

"Lily, my heart, my soul, my flower, the love of my life….seeing as we have now crossed this monumental bridge, I see no reason why we need to hide any longer. You obviously have repressed feelings for me, and I have always made my sentiments known. Why deny ourselves the agony of separation any longer than necessary? Will you, Lily-Flower, be my girlfriend?"

The intensity in his eyes was mesmerizing, and his grin was infectious. Lily was having a hard time not laughing out loud at his audacity. Clearing her throat and rearranging her features into a semblance of sternness, Lily gave James her trademark "eye".

"Potter. As flattered as I am that you have deluded yourself into thinking I have somehow 'fallen' for you, my answer is the same as the hundreds of times before: No." With that, she yanked her hands from his grasp and stood up in one swift motion, swung her bag over her shoulder and began to make her way out of the Great Hall. Upon reaching the doorway, she glanced over her shoulder. With a grin she called out, "You'd better not be late to practice, _James."_ She winked, and watched him keel over in a dead faint. Chuckling, she proceeded to the dorms, leaving the Hall in an uproar once again.

_~Later, after Quidditch practice~_

"James, mate, you coming? I'm going to head to the kitchens with Sirius before heading up to the tower."

James pulled his practice jersey off, turning to face presumably the last member of the Gryffindor Quidditch to exit the changing rooms. "Nah, Benjy, you go on. I'm going to get changed and then go over some drills for next practice."

If James' voice sounded a bit too eager, Benjy chose to ignore it. "Alright, mate. Don't stay too late, or McGonagall will give you detention for breaking curfew, _again_." He sauntered out of the locker room with a grin on his face.

James double checked to make sure all the male team members were gone before striding over quickly to the door that separated the girls from the boys. "Lily?" He whispered urgently. "Lily, they're all gone. Just me now."

The door practically flew off its hinges as Lily launched herself at James. Her hands fisted in his hair as she yanked his head down to hers. Obviously sharing her sentiments, James pulled her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other reaching up to caress her neck. Their faces were mere centimeters apart, and when she spoke, Lily's lips brushed against James'.

"That was a tough practice, Captain."

He smirked. "Yeah, well, it was a rough day for me. First, I had to go to class and watch the love of my life get hit on by nearly every available man—"

"That was you, you prick."

"Then," he continued as if she hadn't just interrupted him. "I had to go to dinner and watch the love of my life eat all of my favorite foods…like she's having an affair with them! Giving them all this attention with her mouth…" His voice trailed off as his gaze settled on her lips. Dropping his voice to a whisper, he continued. "And finally, I was publicly rejected by said love of my life for the thousandth time. I had to take out my frustration somehow." He grinned, lips brushing against hers, and she too broke out into a smile.

"Oh dear. Well, this love of your life sure is treating you rough."

"You're telling me. Lily, honestly…" his voice was serious and urgent now, with an undercurrent of love and adoration. "Why do we have to keep us a secret? School ends in a few months…would it be such a bad thing to have me all to yourself until then? No sneaking around, no worrying if we're suddenly going to jump one another in the middle of class and snog the other senseless…"

At this, Lily's brow quirked.

"What? It's a valid concern! If that happened, the secret would definitely get out! Better to tell everyone ourselves and be in control of the situation than to have it be accidentally discovered anmmph—"

Lily's lips had covered James' own as she silenced him with a kiss. His tongue found his way into her mouth, and she sucked on it, loving the way he groaned into the kiss. Needing oxygen, she tried to pull away, but he only kissed her harder, grinding his body into hers. Finally gasping for air, their lips broke apart as he continued to kiss down her neck between hot breaths. He found a pressure point and started to suck at the sensitive skin there.

Lily tilted her head to the side as she let her hands roam into his unruly hair. She exhaled involuntarily as shivers tingled throughout her overheated body. Finally pulling away, each gasping for breath, Lily spoke. "You talk too much."

"You love the sound of my voice."

"You're narcissistic."

"And you're fat," he retorted lovingly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him.

"You're right."

James stiffened. "Lily, I was only joking, you are not fat. I swear, I was just teasing earlier…"

Lily giggled as she pulled slightly away from him to gaze into his eyes. "I know that, you twat. And I know I'm not fat, and you know I'm not fat. I meant, you're right about us. We shouldn't hide anymore."

James frowned a little. "Lily, are you sure? Because I'm really okay with keeping us a secret until summer. I know how catty girls can get, and merlin knows what Sirius will do when he finds out I've been keeping this a secret…I was just joking earlier…probably lack of sound reasoning due to kiss depravation, if you know what I mean." He winked.

She smiled. "I know…but I think it's time. Like you said, schools almost out for the holidays…and I want to spend every possible second with you. I don't want to waste any more time. Who know what will happen with this war?" her tone was serious and her eyes worried. "Besides," she said, adopting a lighter tone, "I think Remus is beginning to suspect anyway…"

"I love you…" James said, leaning down to kiss her lips slowly and tenderly. Pulling slightly away he whispered, "My beautiful girl." He proceed to give her soft, gentle kisses, until they began to blur together, and all James knew was Lily, and all Lily knew was James.

_~Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room~_

"Well I say," drawled Sirius, lounging on the couch in front of the fireplace, a ratty piece of parchment held over his face. "I do wonder what is keeping Prongs and Evans, don't you Moody?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Remus who was sitting in the adjacent armchair.

"Trying to be subtle, Padfoot? It's not working too well, is it? Might as well just come out and say it for the whole common room to hear." Remus grinned, his face never leaving his textbook.

"I do believe," Sirius began, raising his voice, "That our dear Mr. Potter is currently snogging a one Miss Evans. In fact, I have it on good authority that the aforementioned snoggers have been secretly dating for quite some time now! Now, it would terrible if ANYONE," at this he raised his voice even louder, "were to find out! But if they did, they certainly didn't hear it from me, Sirius Black! You lot got that? You found out some other way!" He yelled, addressing the common room. Excited whispering broke out as girls and boys alike began to spread the rumor.

Sirius grinned at Remus who had finally shut his book, and was gazing at him thoughtfully.

"Really, was that necessary, Padfoot? If James finds out you used the Map to spy on him, and then reveal his secret to the entire common room, and by extension, the entire school, he'll be furious."

"Well that's what he gets for trying to keep a secret from his best mate." Sirius grinned. "Maybe next time he'll know better."

"Or maybe he'll just kill his best mate, and save himself the trouble," Remus muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing…go back to spreading chaos and mischief."

In the changing room, the not-so-secret-any-more couple continued to kiss, and laugh, and love, blissfully unaware of the bedlam that was currently spreading.

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry, this fic is kinda cheesy… I just couldn't resist! I was sitting with some friends one day, when one of them tells me this story about her hockey practice. She was flirting with one of the players and he said something along the lines of "you're fat" (but in a less direct, more flirtatious way I presume). Anyway she proceeds to tell him "I'm not fat, I work out every Tuesday and Thursday" and he replies that "No you don't. If you did you would be faster on the ice." And quick as that she replied "Well I learned hockey from watching you play, so…"**

**BURN! Anyways, it was just so funny and cute in the moment, that I immediately pictured this happening to James and Lily. And yeah, I know Lily didn't play Quidditch, but I had to make it work…so sorry for that. **

**Again, sorry for the extra cheese in this story…I started writing it at 10pm, and I got distracted and didn't finish until 3am…I was just super excited to get this story out of my head and onto paper!**

**Anywho, leave me reviews letting me know what you think!**

**Until next time!**

**P.S. I'm going to be starting a few new projects very soon. All I can say right now is there will be a drabble fic, and then a couple of longer, multichapter fics filled with James, Lily, and marauding goodness! So stay tuned and keep an eye out for them! Toodles!**


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